Bringing back civilisation – a plea for love 1

“To get to a woman’s heart, a man must first use his own.”

~ Mike Dobbertin

My previous blog posts attempted to inform on the topic of the South African rape crisis, a very real, very shocking and frightening problem in our country.

Following the discussion on twitter I have observed both the need to focus stricter laws and convictions with harsher sentences for sex offenders and rapists as well as asking the question why do men in SA rape that much. Quoting Wikipedia here:

One in three of the 4,000 women questioned by the Community of Information, Empowerment and Transparency said they had been raped in the past year.[38]

South Africa has some of the highest incidences of child and baby rape in the world.[39] In a related survey conducted among 1,500 schoolchildren in the Soweto township, a quarter of all the boys interviewed said that ‘jackrolling’, a term for gang rape, was fun.[38] More than 25% of a sample of 1,738 South African men from the KwaZulu-Natal and Eastern Cape Provinces admitted when anonymously questioned to raping someone; of those, nearly half said they had raped more than one person, according to a non-peer reviewed policy brief issued by the Medical Research Council (MRC).[40] Several news publications extrapolated these results to the rest of the South African population.[41][42][43] The humanitarian news organization IRIN claims that an estimated 500,000 rapes are committed annually in South Africa, ….[43]

More than 67,000 cases of rape and sexual assaults against children were reported in 2000 in South Africa.[44] Child welfare groups believe that the number of reported incidents represents merely a fraction of the actual number of incidents.[44]

A belief common to South Africa holds that sexual intercourse with a virgin will cure a man of HIV or AIDS.[44] South Africa has the highest number of HIV-positive citizens in the world. According to official figures, circa 11% of South Africans are infected with the virus.[45] Edith Kriel, a social worker who helps child victims in the Eastern Cape, said: “Child abusers are often relatives of their victims – even their fathers and providers.”[44]

This is shocking information, especially in a Valentins post.

But we do live in a shocking world, where love seems to have lost it’s appeal.

This is why tonight I want to bring us back to the beauty of a love relationship and want to plea that we do not allow the downward spiral of sexual violence in our society to continue.

The second law of thermodynamics states that the entropy of an isolated system never decreases, because isolated systems spontaneously evolve towards thermodynamic equilibrium—the state of maximum entropy. Equivalently, perpetual motion machines of the second kind are impossible.

Which in other words means, if we do not put active, conscious, calculated effort into the system we are in, everything will move down to the smallest common denominator.

Which is what we are having in South Africa. The other day I walked by a news stand, and a papers front page was a headline: Increasing numbers of African fathers having sex with their daughters, and in the article itself it said that in their “culture” they believe they are entitled to show their daughters that this is how “sex happens”.

I should have bought the paper and written a flaming letter to the editors. I will not ever let the fact that I am in town with two nagging toddlers prevent me from getting this kind of evidence and doing something about it, that’s for sure.

Since when is a crime okay because of “culture”? People of South Africa I am sick and tired of you telling me this lame culture excuse as soon as we face a clash of moral values. In the past we could quote the bible which forbids incest and any form of sex with anybody other than your wife, today we are told that is “politically incorrect”. Well, while we seem to have no human rights defending law that is applicable for all SA citizens I will not refrain from quoting my good old bible as some form of basic civil agreement.

For a deeper view why the bible historically founded today’s understanding of justice and order, read lawyer and political commentator Alan Dershowitz’s excellent book:2000: The Genesis of Justice: Ten Stories of Biblical Injustice that Led to the Ten Commandments and Modern Law. Warner Books. ISBN 978-0-446-67677-9. (one of the funnest reads on the subjects if I may add).

In South Africa it is currently okay to have more than one wife (our president does) as long as you can prove it is your culture. That’s also why we tip toe that much around issues like lobola (paying for a woman’s hand in marriage), which often is negotiated by needy parents or mothers selling their under aged daughters away without their consent.

I want to advocate a South Africa with one legal system for all. There is no going back to a glorified past, like all civilized nations we should strive for a future where every human beings rights are protected, and man and women are treated equal.

We need a reform of our education system. The above quoted “jack rolling”, a practice of gang rape started in the Soweton ghettos during Apartheid, was initially an attempt of young African males to prevent young females to succeed in completing their education.

Read more about jack rolling here

and about it’s objective of hindering young women’s social climb Here

I have blogged about the need of an education reform in South Africa


and want to underline tonight that only an educated heart can truly understand the art of love.

This is what essentially sets the human apart from an animal. We do not follow our immediate instincts and urges. (I found this amazing in some of the links shared on twitter, explaining rape with men’s “combustible sexuality” that apparently can not keep their needs under control … well obviously they can in other nations that have a far, far lower rape rate than South Africa. Which then would naturally open the stage to the provocative question: Do men in all nation have the same mental capacity? If you say yes, and you mean by that that we are all the same, then this would bind you to the conclusion that we very well can and MUST expect the same restraint, self control and moral code of all men in all nations, and “but it’s our culture” must be outlawed as an excuse for criminal behavior. Feel free to think it through, quote and reblog please).

An educated mind feels much more the need for a soul mate, a life companion, and mutuality in a love relationship.

What would go through someone’s mind who grew up with an appreciation for literature, arts, history and other civilization benefits seeing the picture below?

Now what would your average gangster think? Don’t even want to go there, right?

Let not beauty be stolen, the potential to love be destroyed and all that’s good and beautiful in this world be raped because good people did nothing until it was too late.    – Chris van Heerden –

Education also teaches discipline, practice, self control. A child learns taking turns, considering others, sharing and empathy in a good preschool. A good school should wake up inquisitive minds, challenge reasoning and also teach self control as a means to achieve higher levels.

Are our schools doing that, when even a simple task jsut as text book delivery seems too difficult for our highly paid minister of education?

I listened to education reform activist Louise van Rhynns speech on the state of education in our nation and want to share this with you tonight.

This is a call to wake up, and get involved. If you do not want raping gangs of young men in our streets who have never even though about finding true love, who posses no discipline or skill of making a career for themselves let alone truly winning a soul mate and creating a respectful, happy and functional family, then consider the correlation between men’s ability to think and men’s ability to love., I plead with you, get involved changing our nations way of thinking.


6 thoughts on “Bringing back civilisation – a plea for love 1”

  1. Reblogged this on Intercession and commented:

    Please pray continuously for our country’s men, that true repentance will happen and the abuse of women and children will come to an end.

    1. Thank you very much, that means a lot. Please feel free to share it- Valentines Day is as good a reason as any to make people think about how we do want to define love in 2013.

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